What do you do when the promises of God invoke pain, not comfort?
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At the heart of the Christmas story are two pregnant women: Elizabeth who is pregnant with John the Baptist and Mary who is pregnant with Jesus. But this is no fairy tale for these women. They never got their “designer lives,” the lives they had hoped and planned for themselves.
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I found out I was pregnant again. At this point, those two lines were more ominous than hopeful. Pregnancy had brought mostly disappointment. But, it was another chance at starting a family, nonetheless. I survived the first week. The second. The third. And suddenly something dangerous began to happen. I began to hope.
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Miscarriage is the membership card to a club you never asked to be in; a union of women sporting badges of infertility, stillbirth, miscarriage, and even abortion. Women who share your emotions, questions, crisis of faith, and isolation, women whose desire to be a parent has been abruptly interrupted by suffering. This post is an effort to encourage those who are grieving and to help friends and family members trying to help.
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The beginning of the book of Exodus is hard not to enjoy. With the burning bush, the Nile turning to blood, the dramatic exit through the Red Sea, what's not to love? With so many big events, it's easy to miss the details. Details like the fact that most of the main characters in the first two chapters are women. Each one of them acts in the interest of children, even when their own safety is threatened. Without these five women, Israel's story of redemption doesn't happen. Without these five women, Moses doesn't survive the infanticide occurring in Egypt, and there is no leader to be God's instrument of deliverance.
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All of us at all seasons of life encounter children. They might be your own, or a friends’, or nieces and nephews, or your neighbor’s kids. So it is important that we have a Biblically-informed view on them.
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Two lines. I love those two lines. I hate those two lines. They have become welcomed friends and also hated enemies. I first saw them unexpectedly in the Fall of 2007, and then a second time with more anticipation in September of 2009. But it was the third time, around Thanksgiving 2009, which rocked me.
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I see a "known way": what I want to happen. But the promise is that God's way, even though it is unknown, is much better than what I can see. But it is the unknown that terrifies me, which is what keeps me from trusting God. I am unsure of what He will do if I trust Him, so instead I choose my own way.
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Over and over the message I hear is this: children are a burden and an inconvenience. How sad that one of the most exciting adventures we are privileged to embark on is often clouded with pessimism.
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Even more than just wanting children, I longed for restoration in my relationship with Him. I pondered the question again: "What do you want me to do for you?" I carefully and decidedly wrote in my journal, "I want the fullness of joy in Your presence. (Ps 16:11)"
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