Often, being a mother prevents me from doing what I want to do when I want to do it. And quite frankly, it's really frustrating!
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Even in sleeplessness I am to commend myself as a servant of God. What renewed purpose this gave me to know that I am to serve God in my sleeplessness. Not just get through it, but serve God through it.
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To what end am I seeking excellence as a wife and mother? Is it because that's what I'm supposed to do? Or because Scripture calls me to consider others as better than myself? I know that God values my roles as wife and mother, so maybe that is why I am supposed to strive to be good at them. Maybe it's simply because I love my husband and daughter and serving them is a natural response.
Though all those things are good reasons, there is still a greater end than this.
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I'm not exactly sure what I expected God would use to "bind my heart" to Him. I guess I thought He would just cause me to desire Him more and desire other things less. You know, something wonderfully easy, simple and painless like that. But just yesterday, I became aware of the unexpected "rope" He has been using to bind my heart to Himself: My Weaknesses.
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Even more than just wanting children, I longed for restoration in my relationship with Him. I pondered the question again: "What do you want me to do for you?" I carefully and decidedly wrote in my journal, "I want the fullness of joy in Your presence. (Ps 16:11)"
Read MoreMaybe every day for the rest of my life I will have to choose again to believe this sweet promise that there is only ONE THING that matters. There is only ONE THING that should have first place in my heart. JESUS.
Read MoreIt has been just over 2 weeks since Lively was born and I thought I would take some time to share some of the things I've learned in these first weeks of parenthood.
Read MoreWaiting on something we really want is so natural. We are always keeping our eye out for it, always looking for it, and always aware of the absence of the thing we long for.
Read MoreI am in super nesting mode: cleaning, doing laundry, washing dishes, and overall trying to get our house in order for when we return from the hospital with a tiny baby girl. Ironically, all these preparations have distracted me from the most important thing as I prepare to be a mother: my relationship with my God.
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