Today is day 10 of being home by myself. These long weeks of doing life at home without Jimmy are usually challenging to me. But this week more than usual. In addition to a challenging week at work preparing for a mission trip, Jimmy has also had a very time-consuming schedule on the road. Top that with bad phone signal, and that's a recipe for poor communication and misunderstandings.
My continuous prayer throughout this week has been "Help me be a woman who hopes in God." This prayer was instigated by a John Piper sermon on 1 Peter 3. "For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves..." 1 Peter 3:5. These holy women of old, who we are to look up to and model our lives after have only one defining characteristic: they hoped in God!! John Piper went on to say that the strongest and most defining characteristic of Biblical womanhood is simply that: hope in God. Not hope in a husband, not hope in a job, or friends, or family. But hope in a sovereign and faithful God!
Now that is much easier said than done. Unfortunately, as a woman, I tend to let my emotions dictate my reality far too often. And I tend to look around at my circumstances, or in this case my calendar, and fret and worry at the very small amount of days I will see my husband this month. Though he is flying home tomorrow, I will already be in Laredo with our high schoolers for our summer mission trip. Yes, he is coming with us on this trip and will drive in later, but we stay in separate areas with the guys and girls and have full days that don't leave much time for reconnecting.
But hope in God! I want to hope in God!
I'm not exactly sure what this means all the time, but my new sterling silver ring from our recent trip to Israel has been a help. It says, in Hebrew, the first part of Proverbs 3:5 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart." And of course the rest is, lean not on your own understanding! This is when I remember that all I have been doing is leaning on what I understand: in this case, our calender. But that's not the way....
Ok, so trust Him with ALL my heart, lean not on my understanding. I can move in that direction. He is a holy, sovereign, all-powerful God who loves me and cares for me and has my best interests in mind. (I know this from experience, but isn't it all too easy to forget?) I will choose to walk in this direction. He is capable for any situation! He is able to walk me through these stressful days! He is God and He is who I put my hope in!
Today, I am just a woman who hopes in God.