Are people looking beyond the family unit for meaning and stability? Let us hope so! But let it not be friendship they look to. Let it be Jesus.
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If you place all your longings on a future marriage, it will crush it. Only God himself can carry the weight of our deepest hopes and dreams.
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We all need friends who stick closer than a brother, who will be there for us in good and bad times, but to treat a friendship with the weight, exclusivity, and ownership of a marriage brings serious dangers. In just a moment, things can go from seemingly safe and good to horribly bad and harmful.
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Jesus is our Bread of Life, our Living Water, our Pearl of Great Price, our Light, our Resurrection, our very Life. The greatest danger to our souls is that we might abandon abiding in him, following him, and finding our joy in him. Therefore, the best gift a friend can give is a commitment to fight for our joy in and communion with Christ. Conversely, the worst distortion of friendship arises when a friend encourages us, consciously or unconsciously, to place our affections elsewhere.
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The things we covet and crave are often good things. But even so, to covet is to become enamored with something other than God. And craving God's gifts when you already have God Himself is preferring the gifts above the Giver.
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While we may be aware of our tendency to look to spouses, children, money, food, careers, and houses to find fulfillment, many of us have assumed friendship is immune to the same kind of temptation. But idolatry is always dangerous to our souls, no matter how harmless the idol may seem at first glance.
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Unfortunately, codependency in marriage is an assumed reality for many. The truth is, most of us struggle to believe God is enough for us, so we are continually looking to people to make us feel ok. Because of this, a marriage can become a place where we finally feel like being codependent is acceptable. We hope, like the movies have portrayed, that we can bank on this person to fill the deepest parts of our longings and be the one on whom our general sense of wellbeing rests.
Read More![[Friendship Gone Wrong] 15 Questions to Diagnose Idolatry](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/51fbf1e5e4b0a9dce7926cdb/1496752898323-4AI9USIPHLZ95HIPJ9GD/SYMPTOMS+OF+IDOLATRY.jpg)
This sinful idolatry may even appear godly at first. Two co-dependent friends may pray together, talk about Jesus a lot, and be extremely supportive of one another. The spiritual conversation and activity of the friendship may give a false sense that nothing is wrong. But it matters little how much we talk about Jesus or do things for Jesus if our hope and trust isn't in Him alone. Here are 15 questions to help you diagnose if idolatry is present in your friendship.
Read More![[Friendship Gone Wrong] No Safe Zones](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/51fbf1e5e4b0a9dce7926cdb/1483647570047-BZFZ34IIUUBR3FWRLJKB/safe+zones.png)
Most Christians assume friendship could never be sinful, especially same-gender friendships. This is the reason some walk into idolatry blindly: they have a false sense of security. But idolatry is no respecter of gender. Anything that takes God’s place in your heart is an idol, even your closest girl friend. A best friend can become a god, a functional savior who rescues you from all the hardships of life, and very few will call it sin. This is why idolatry in friendship is dangerously deceptive: it has become culturally acceptable to need your friend more than you need God.
Read More![[Friendship Gone Wrong] A Tale of Two Friends](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/51fbf1e5e4b0a9dce7926cdb/1483647550039-XEI2HHGO0HJN1R4DC313/two+friends.png)
This is the story of a friendship gone wrong. Somewhere along the way, Sarah and Kelsey began to look to one another for things only God should give: worth, purpose, belonging, and security. This is the story of an unhealthy friendship infected with idolatry.
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