If you place all your longings on a future marriage, it will crush it. Only God himself can carry the weight of our deepest hopes and dreams.
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What does the Bible have to say about singleness? Whether you are single or not, I hope you will take time to make sure your point of view on this stage of life is Biblical, and not influenced by the culture around you. And remember, those of us who are married may again enter this season. We are not promised forever with our spouses, and any one of us might be widowed one day.
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How did Valentine's day become "I-need-someone-to-make-much-of-me day"? The popular idea of love conjures up images of being served and doted on by others. So if you don't have someone buying you flowers, sending you notes, and telling you you're awesome on Valentine's day, it then becomes an excuse to be angry and depressed.
Christian, your view of love should be markedly different than this.
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Unfortunately, codependency in marriage is an assumed reality for many. The truth is, most of us struggle to believe God is enough for us, so we are continually looking to people to make us feel ok. Because of this, a marriage can become a place where we finally feel like being codependent is acceptable. We hope, like the movies have portrayed, that we can bank on this person to fill the deepest parts of our longings and be the one on whom our general sense of wellbeing rests.
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There is this concept that has been propagated through an abundance of romantic comedies as well as our American Christian culture that we all have one perfect soul mate out there somewhere. But I want to propose that this idea of "the one" is a myth and is an idea that is actually bringing more harm than good to those who embrace it.
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Discussion questions for the 4-part series: My First Love.
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This process of forsaking my idols of marriage and returning to my first love and learning to call God ’Husband’ instead of ’Master’ has powerfully changed my life. I am a more passionate follower of Jesus who is not burdened by the commands of the Bible, but ecstatic about them, and I have a healthier view of marriage and relationships.
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But this concept of falling in love with God seems so unattainable, doesn’t it? How do you fall in love with God anyway? Here are a few practical things that have helped me to fall in love with the person of God.
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My struggle to allow God to be in control of this area of my life was not easy. The thought of surrendering this to God seemed impossible. I was scared of not being in control.
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“I am waiting on God to bring me my husband.” Is there anything wrong with this statement? It might not seem like it. It is good and right to wait on God’s timing concerning marriage and dating instead of trying to do things in our own way. But if that is the ONLY THING that we are waiting on, we have an incorrect perspective.
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