Tag Archives: jimmy needham

Closet Pharisee

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“Fill up, then, the measure of the guilt of your fathers.  You serpents, you brood of vipers, how will you escape the sentence of hell?” ~Jesus, Matthew 23: 32-33

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You’d think these words were said to a murderer, or a sexually perverted or promiscuous person, or a thief.  But no, Jesus was speaking to the religious leaders of the day.

Wait, did you catch that… Jesus’s harshest words of judgment are to the religious leaders of the day.  This should cause the ears of this religious church girl to perk up and listen.  Why such harsh words?  And what did these religious people do to merit such severe judgment?  And how do I make sure I am truly following Jesus and not the path of these anti-Jesus religious people?  These are questions I should have asked in my early years of following Jesus.

Even though I fell in love with Jesus early in my life, there grew an inward bent of my soul, slowly and stealthily, that was hardly noticeable.  I’m not sure exactly how it started.  Maybe it was the subconscious joy I found in the acclaim of people in being such a “good Christian.”  Maybe I couldn’t help but notice how much “better” I was than my peers.  Somewhere along the way, I began to delight in my good works more than the work of Jesus.  My heart started to reflect that of a Pharisee more than Jesus.

The Pharisee and the Tax Collector (Luke 18:9-14)

The Pharisee and the Tax Collector (Luke 18:9-14)

No matter how it started, a root of pride began to grow in my heart and for years it was watered with the praise of others and my own comparison to my peers.  I became really good at “being a Christian.” In the morning, I trusted my ability to have a good quiet time and memorize scripture.  In the evening, I found peace in my “maturity” to worship with hands raised.  I no longer needed Jesus as my savior.  My good deeds had become my functional savior.  I knew the right words to say, the right things to do to look like the best Jesus-follower out there.

Like the Pharisees, I was completely blind to my sinful pride.  It wasn’t until I got married that this slow-growing disease was made clear to me.  Before saying “I do,” I thought I was pretty awesome and that Jimmy was pretty lucky to have such a godly wife.  (Though I NEVER would have said that, obviously, because that is a pretty prideful thing to think and I wasn’t prideful… I was a humble, servant-hearted Christian.) But nonetheless, I thought I was awesome.  So when I  found myself, 2 weeks after our wedding, in Nashville surrounded by people who thought Jimmy was awesome, I grew angry, resentful, and insecure.

People were enthralled with his music and only knew me as his wife.  ”How lucky I must be to be married to such a wonderful man!”  ”Isn’t he awesome?”  ”God has greatly gifted this man!”  I was surrounded by people who didn’t care about me and were telling me how wonderful my new husband was.  This was a direct assault to that root of pride that had been growing in my heart.

“What about me?!  I’m pretty awesome too!  Have you seen how great of a Christian I am?  How gifted I am?  Hello!  He’s the lucky one, not me!”  This monstrous pride that had been lying dormant and growing for years suddenly reared its ugly head.  And boy was it ugly.  I began to lash out in the only place I could without losing my “awesome Christian girl” reputation: at my husband.  I said hateful things.  I found myself in anger I never knew I was capable of .

This lead to confusion and disillusionment: “I’m better than this!  Why am I so angry, so hateful and unforgiving?  So insecure and jealous? I am a good Christian!”  Looking to my own ability to be good, I wondered why my idol of self wasn’t coming through for me.  Why wasn’t my normal way of life working anymore?  This was one circumstance where I couldn’t look to my own good works any more.

Thank God for this direct assault on my pride, this crushing of my idol of self.  Without this challenging season I would have never been able to even see my pride.  He used my circumstances to stir up the waters of my life and all that prideful sediment that was accumulating at the bottom swirled to the surface where I could see it for what it was: sin.  Nasty, ugly sin.

The interesting thing about pride is that it is self-deceiving.  Meaning, while walking in pride, you don’t even realize that you are prideful.  You actually think you are right; not in any sin.  (See Jer 49:16, Oba 1:3, 1 Cor 3:18, Gal 6:3) So for a while I was in denial that I had an issue with pride and love of self.  I still thought the problem was my circumstance: my husband’s career choice, his lack of understanding of my situation, other people’s blindness to my plight, etc.  And as long as I stayed in this denial with my focus on others, nothing changed.

A few months into marriage, things finally started to change.  In the middle of an argument with Jimmy, God supernaturally opened the eyes of my heart to see clearly: I was full of pride and arrogance and had been trusting my own works above the work of Jesus.  In brokenness and tears I fell to my face before God.  I vividly remember my prayer on that night: “Dear Lord, I have never felt more ashamed of myself.  I deserve the depths of hell for this pride and arrogance in my heart.  Thank you for your saving grace that covers me.”  I realized in that moment what I truly was: a closet Pharisee.  Disguised in the outward adornment of good Christian behavior, my soul had cultivated the pride and self-sufficiency of a Pharisee.  Of all those in scripture, I had become as those that Jesus most harshly condemns.

But, what a merciful God to show me the sin in my heart.  He graciously and intentionally gave me a very gifted husband with a very public ministry.  It was through this that God showed me my pride. It was through this that He began to cultivated a true heart of humility and Christ-likeness in me. (Let this also serve as a warning to those who think marriage will make them happy and satisfy their hearts.  Marriage is often God’s chosen sanctification instrument, which means there are many times that it is not fun, but rather hard.  Jesus alone must be the one we look to for fulfillment and joy.  Only then can marriage have its proper place in our lives.)

Over the years, I have become more sensitive toward my pharisaical tendencies.  I often study the characteristics of the Pharisees and the charges Jesus brings against them in an effort to rid my own heart of such things.  Later this week, I will post about “The Marks of a Pharisee” and how I fight against those inclinations in my own life.

Clearing the Stage: Waiting for What?

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Well, today is the last day of our “Clearing the Stage” blog posts. Jimmy’s record releases tomorrow and we are so thrilled! And what a better way to usher in a new record than by Jimmy and I actually seeking to live out the message of this record. I hope that you have been challenged to do some stage-clearing and idol-crushing in your own life. I also hope you will get yourself a copy of Jimmy’s new record tomorrow, either on iTunes, jimmyneedham.com, or at your local Christian bookstore. I really believe that this record will minister to you, encourage you, challenge you, and give you something fun to dance around the house to.


I have recently been studying through the Psalms and noticed the recurring phrase of “wait on the Lord.” There are many promises for those who wait on the Lord and many psalmists who promise to be people who wait on Him. I’ve written about waiting before (see my blog, “What are you waiting on?”), and am always amazed at how little I wait on God. I usually find that I am waiting on many other circumstances in my life: waiting to graduate from college, waiting to be able to have a healthy baby, waiting to get to a more “financial stable” place, waiting for Jimmy to get home, waiting, waiting, waiting. It seems that I’m rarely content in my current circumstances.


This also seems to be the trend in the lives of those around me: always waiting to arrive at some better situation. Whether it be waiting to not be single, waiting for a hard season to pass, or waiting for a spouse to change, we’re rarely content where we are at. The problem with this is that the only thing the Bible commands us to wait on is Jesus! So is it wrong to want our situation to change? I don’t think so. I think our problem is where we are placing our hope.


I read a New American Standard Bible and many times when the word “wait” is used, there is a note in the margin that says “or hope in.” Waiting is often synonymous with hoping. I don’t often think of what I wait on as what I place my hope in, but I find it to be true in many circumstances. When I was a sophomore in high school, I had orchestra practice after school every Tuesday. As I didn’t have a drivers license, I often found myself waiting outside the fine arts building for my mom to pick me up. I hated being at school longer than was absolutely necessary and was very anxious to get home. So I would sit outside watching the very farthest place that I knew I would see her car pull around to get me. Waiting for me was a very active thing as I kept my eyes focused and looking for my one hope to get home: my mom’s car.


In the same way, when I am waiting on a set of circumstances, it is usually because that is what I have placed my hope for peace and joy in. It is what I have my eyes and my heart fixed on. But even if I get to whatever place I’m hoping to be, I’ll find something else I’m not satisfied with and create a new hope to wait on. How do you know what you are waiting on and hoping in? If you’re like me, you’ll find yourself thinking and saying things like: “When I (…fill in the blank…), then things will be better/great, or then I will be able to have peace/have a better walk with God.” No matter how bad our circumstances, how undesirable our situation, Jesus is enough for us. Do we believe that? Usually the answer is no, but I think it is worth fighting to choose to believe this and walk it out.


“Whatever I can’t stop thinking of is an idol” – Lyric from “Clear the Stage” I pray that all of us, myself included, would begin to make Jesus the thing we can’t stop thinking of. That we would be people who wait on Him and Him alone and truly begin to experience the reality that Jesus is enough for us, even if our situation never changes. May we being to wait on the Lord alone and keep our eyes on Him, for those who wait on Him will never be ashamed, their strength will be renewed and they will not grow weary. (Ps 25:3, Is 40:31).


Check out Jimmy’s last blog on his facebook page.

Clearing the Stage: A Means to an End

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I hope you have all had the opportunity to read Jimmy’s “Clearing the Stage” blogs this week on his facebook page. They have been phenomenal and full of truth and wisdom. He has mentioned a quote from Tim Keller defining idolatry as “turning good things into ultimate things.” I love this definition because it reminds us that it isn’t always something inherently evil that takes God’s place; often times it is something good.


I began praying this morning that God would reveal more things that push Him out center stage in my life. As I wrote down things that came to mind, none of them were bad things: my desire to be a good wife and mom, my desire for a clean and orderly house, to be a good friend, just to name a few. All of these things are good and righteous desires, but often they are the very things that keep me from God. When my desire to be a good wife, mom, friend, or homemaker compete with my desire to know God more, it’s my time with God that usually gets cut. I justify this by telling myself, “I can spend time with God any time I want to, but right now I need to (fill in the blank).” I am have become so quick to cut out my Jesus time because “I can fit Him in anywhere.” But usually, the end of those days come sooner than I realize, and I find I haven’t thought twice about my God.


Sometimes I wonder if I treated one of my friends the way I treat God, how would she respond? I have a lunch date planned with her to catch up, but the kitchen is really dirty and I had better clean it. So I cancel about 5 minutes before with no more reason than it isn’t a good time any more. Or I tell her she is really the best friend I have and I want to meet at least once a week, but I only show up to half of the dates we set because I forgot or had something “more important” come up. I don’t think she would be my friend for very long. Yet, sadly, this is often how I treat Jesus, the savior of my soul. Yes, it is true that if we have trusted in Jesus as our Savior, His spirit dwells within us and we have access to Him 24/7. But should that really give me the right to treat God such flippancy and disrespect?


I think even more telling are the times that I am most desperate for God and consistent in prayer. It’s usually in very difficult seasons when I am seeking Him for something. My tendency is to use God as a means to an end, instead of the only end that I really need. Let me share a quote from one of my favorite booklets called “The Abba Cry” by Don Lessin:

“Jesus must never become the means to an end. If your self-interests are the loudest sound within you, Jesus will become a means to that end. We may never admit it outwardly, but in our hearts we will know if Jesus is no longer the end we live for. If human relations take the place of Jesus, those relationships will become the loudest sound within you. Christian ministry can become the loudest sound that you hear. Ministry, marvelous ministry, can move Jesus into the shadows, even in the midst of working hard for Him.”



Don shares from his own experience in ministry saying “Walking in and out of the presence of God, and looking to Him for quick answers, I found that Jesus had become the means to an end. I never ceased loving and serving Him, but He was not the center of my being.” Oh how true this is in me at times. I let the peripheral things (family, friends, hobbies, cleaning, and ministry) take center stage in my life, pushing Jesus to the sidelines.


The more aware I become of this tendency in my heart, the easier it is to identify when I am slipping into this form of idolatry. Here are a few ways I have begun to notice Jesus becoming a means to an end: When my times with God become about what I can get from Him instead of how I can get to know Him. When my prayer life is only full of asking God for things, instead of talking with God about things. When I am quick to cancel my appointed time with Him for other lesser things. May this trend in my life come to an end as Jesus becomes the central theme and song of my heart. I pray that my heart becomes so bent on knowing Jesus more that my life would scream, “everything is a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ!” (Phil 3:7-8) and that my time with Jesus would become so precious and dear to me that I will sacrifice other things to preserve my time with Him.


Let me close by sharing a challenge for us all by Don: “Is Jesus what you really want? Is He enough? It’s not that ministry is wrong, or that having a beautiful family is wrong, but these things should be an outflow of our passion for Him. Way down deep, do you hear the voice of the Spirit of God talking to your spirit? Do you hear God saying, ‘Turn off all the sounds within you, but My voice. Turn off the sound of business, family, and ministry. Turn off the TV, the radio, and the music. Turn off the call of sports and movies and entertainment. Let it all be silent within you, and hear My voice’? As you listen to His voice what do you hear? Do you hear the Spirit saying, ‘Are you satisfied with Jesus? Are you really interested in taking time to be beautiful inside?’ I encourage you to get quiet before Him today and nail down in your spirit what is the loudest sound that you want to hear.”


Please, do yourself a favor and order a copy of “The Abba Cry” here. It costs $3 and will take 30 minutes to read through. I try to read it once every couple months simply as a heart check. Since it is so cheap, maybe order a few copies and give one to a friend or someone in vocational ministry.

Clearing the Stage: Noise

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Take a break from all the plans that you have made
And sit at home alone and wait for God to whisper
Beg Him please to open up His mouth and speak
And pray for real upon your knees until they blister
Shine the light on every corner of your life
Until the pride and lust and lies are in the open
Then read the Word and put to test the things you’ve heard
Until your heart and soul are stirred and rocked and broken
-Lyrics from “Clear the Stage”


Oh how I love the lyrics to this song. And yet the dangerous thing is that while the Spirit inside me testifies to how good it is to sit and wait on God, this rarely turns into action. I am often so bent on being productive (as I wrote about in yesterday’s post), that I forget what it means to sit still and wait on God to speak. I tend to fill every second of my day with something in hopes to make the most of my time. But if I were to look at my time with spiritual eyes, the reality would be that I am filling my day with so much noise that there is very little room for God to speak.


What does this noise look like? Lately, it’s been way too much “screen time:” TV, internet (Facebook, pinterest, email, etc.), and iPhone apps and games. I begun thinking about how much time is wasted through these avenues a few weeks ago before the season of Lent started. Jimmy and I have never given anything up for Lent, as it often seems to be for so many simply a religious practice with little or no meaning. But we have some wonderful families around us that have redeemed this practice with more purpose, using the denying of ourselves as a reminder in this season of the sacrifice Christ made for us. So we both decided to fast from something. I knew Jimmy was going to be gone much of this Lenten season and I tend to turn the TV on more in his absence. I think it makes me feel less alone. So I decided to “give up” all TV watching for these 40 days until we celebrate the resurrection of Christ.


It was interesting that the first couple days of this TV fast, I spent an abnormally large amount of time on my computer. Jimmy’s comment to me as I was talking about this with him was: “So, essentially you’ve just replaced your TV time with a different form of distraction.” Ouch. But unfortunately true. What is it that makes me so averse to sitting still in silence? Is it our culture that pushes productivity, our highly technological society that keeps us continually busy, or my own selfish desires to do what I want rather than wait on God?


In 1 Kings 19, Elijah hears from God as he is fleeing for his life from the evil Jezebel. God tells him to go stand on the mountain as He passed by. First a great and strong wind came, breaking the mountains into pieces. “But the Lord was not in the wind.” And then an earthquake, “but the Lord was not in the earthquake.” And then a fire, “but the Lord was not in the fire.” And finally, the sound of a gentle blowing… and it is in this quiet form that God speaks to Elijah. What a wonderful reminder to my distraction-prone heart that it is often in quiet whispers that God speaks. And I will never hear this treasured whisper of God unless I quiet my life and my heart enough to make room for it.


Since the conversation I had with Jimmy, I’ve sought to use the time I’ve freed up during this fast to seek God through more time in the Word and prayer, listening to podcasts, and playing worship music. And as would be expected, I have felt more filled with the Spirit and more sensitive to His voice than I have in many, many months. Slowly I am being reminded of the beautiful discipline of waiting in silence for God. Just yesterday, I had the opportunity to experience this. As I was hitting the last hour of my drive home, the sun was setting. I turned the music down and drove in silence, watching one of the most beautiful sunsets I’ve seen in years. I kept asking, “Lord what are you saying to me in this?” and simply waiting to hear from God. And sure enough, He brought a couple different things to my mind and revealed subtle errors in my way of thinking. What could have been a busy, distracted, and rather thoughtless drive home became a wonderful time of repentance and fellowship with God.


I wonder how many of these sweet moments I’ve missed because I have my face glued to a screen all day. It saddens me to think about how little time I leave in my day for God to speak. I don’t want to miss any of the marvelous truths He has to share with me about Himself! I want to truly wait on Him with quietness of heart and mind.


God, please give me spiritual eyes to see my day how you see it! Help me to see time spent with you and waiting on you as my most valuable time! Forgive me for the hours upon hours that I’ve wasted on pointless things that don’t matter. Grant me the discipline to leave space in my day for quietness, denying my urges to mindlessly read facebook and twitter feeds, play games, and surf the web. Give me the heart that David had in Psalm 62:1,5: “My soul waits in silence for God only.” Only You Lord can give me the ability to make these changes in my life for good. I trust in You and long for Your voice to be the loudest voice in my life. In Jesus name, Amen.


Check out Jimmy’s “Clearing the Stage” blog for today on his facebook page.

Clearing the Stage: Accomplishments

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I am a hopeless “Martha.” If you are familiar with the story of Mary and Martha in Luke 10, you will remember that Martha was the sister who was constantly serving and all the while forsaking the most important thing: simply sitting at the feet of Jesus. This is the story of my life. I love to accomplish things. I love to do. It makes me feel good about myself and gives me a way to quantify the successfulness of my day. Consequently, it is extremely hard for me to just sit. In fact, this is the main reason that I hate napping. What a wasted few hours! When I end the day without having accomplished anything on my to-do list, I feel like I wasted my day.


Of course, there is nothing inherently wrong with getting things done and having a strong work ethic. It is when I can’t stop doing those things or thinking about them that they become a problem. Since our daughter Lively still takes a morning nap, that has become my “Jesus time.” I spend that time enjoying who God is through the Bible and prayer for as long as her nap lasts. But heaven forbid that she sleep longer than her normal hour and a half. I can’t lose that precious time to get to the important things I want to accomplish!


How unfortunate that I am often so anxious to get to the “more important” things on my to do list. As if a day spent in communion with my Savior would be a wasted day. It’s in these moments that I relate to Martha as she watched her sister simply sitting and listening to Jesus wondering why she isn’t doing more. Life isn’t all about the doing, at least in a physical sense. Because in all reality, there is a lot happening when I choose to sit at the feet of Jesus: my Spirit is strengthened, I grow in my love for God (the greatest commandment by the way) and for others, and I am freed from sin. But none of these things have results that I can see with my eyes. But a freshly painted bathroom… I can see that progress and it makes me feel good.


Oh that God would give me spiritual eyes to see not what is seen, but what is unseen! For what is seen is only temporary but what is unseen is eternal (2 Corin 4:18). Jesus’ words to Martha always speak right to my heart: “Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.”(Luke 10:41-42)


Lord God, I beg you to do a deep work in my heart. Uproot the idol of my to-do list and my accomplishments as they so often hinder me from a deeper relationship with You. Please help me redefine what a successful day looks like. Teach me that a whole day spent with you, without doing anything, is more successful and fruitful in eternity that a 1,000 days where I got everything checked off. Show me how to balance serving my family and working hard with a heart that ultimately longs to do nothing else but sit in Your presence. Free me from thinking that my time with you is something to check off a list rather than the greatest privilege and most fruitful time in my day. I am hopeless to bring about these changes, so Lord work in me. In the powerful name of Jesus, amen.




Read Jimmy’s post for today on his facebook page.

Clearing the Stage: People

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So if you weren’t aware, my awesome husband Jimmy is releasing a new record called “Clear The Stage” in 5 days! This record is unbelievable musically and lyrically and is all I have been listening to lately. The album title comes from a song on the record also called Clear the Stage that was written by a friend of ours, Ross King (Check out his music here. And please buy his album “And All the Decorations Too.” It is phenomenal lyrically.). This song has had a powerful effect on both of our lives and is one we regularly listen to as a way to check our hearts for idols. To give you an idea of the message of the song and this record, let me share a portion of the lyrics:

Anything I put before my God is an idol.
Anything I want with all my heart is an idol.
Anything I can’t stop thinking of is an idol.
Anything that I give all my love is an idol.
We must not worship something that’s not even worth it.
Clear the stage and make some space for the one who deserves it.

In anticipation of this record, Jimmy and I will be doing some “stage-clearing” in our own lives and will be blogging about it for the next five days until the record releases. We invite you to join us in this with hopes that we can give God the rightful place in our lives: center stage.


With that being said, it was a no brainer to decide what idol in my life needs to be dealt with first. People. I have a problem in that I am way too obsessed with what other people think of me. When I read through the lyrics posted above, “anything I can’t stop thinking of is an idol,” I am faced with the reality of how I idolize the approval of others. While I might say I am a generally confident person, I spend way to much of my thought life imagining what others might be thinking about me. I contemplate what my neighbor might think if I drive away without saying hello. Or what that woman at church might think if I have to ask for her name again for the 3rd time. Or what my friend will think if I forget to call her on her birthday. Way too often, these thoughts consume me.


The problem with being so preoccupied with my image to others is that it leaves little of my attention to be focused on God! In addition to that, these thoughts are simply a surfacing of my ever-recurring problem with the sin of pride. I may be thinking about others and what they think of me… but in the end, I am simply thinking of me! “What do they think of ME?” “How do I look?” “I want to make sure I don’t look bad.” I am way, way, way to concerned with myself.


So maybe a better title for this post is this: “Clearing the Stage of ME.” Self-worship will probably always be the biggest threat to my true worship of God. I do seem to get in the way a lot. I’ve also noticed when God truly has center stage in my life and in my heart, I forget about myself all together in light of the greatness of who He is. The lyrics from Shane & Shane’s song “Vision of You” come to mind: “Let the vision of You be the death of me.”


Oh Lord, may that be true every day of my life. That I would daily choose to fix my eyes upon You and who You are in all Your glory so that all other idols melt away, including myself. By Your grace would You free me from the bondage of self-worship by being too concerned with what others think of me? Through the resurrection power of Your Son Jesus, bring freedom to me from this idolatry that You alone may be my sole focus and recipient of my worship. In the power and name of Jesus, Amen.




Check out Jimmy’s blog for today on his facebook fan page.

A Day in the Life…

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Today was a perfect example of how being married to Jimmy makes my life weird.

We showed up at Panera bread this afternoon to meet with a pastor in our area for the very first time. We had just sat down when a stranger walked up and asked, “Excuse me, but are you Jimmy Needham?” After Jimmy signed a sheet of notebook paper for her, we exchanged a few cordial introductions then returned to our conversation. I am very grateful for that girl today and her support of Jimmy and his music but again, these are the things just make our life… weird.

Most of you reading this are probably already familiar with my husband and his music. For those of you who have no idea who he is and wonder why you should, I am glad you are here! Honestly, he is just a normal guy like any other. But to most people he is Jimmy Needham. He is a Christian singer/songwriter and recording artist with Inpop records. He is played on radio stations across the country and in many other countries as well!

Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely adore my husband and I am thrilled to be married to him and absolutely love supporting him in his calling as a singer/songwriter/recording artist. But the truth is, that because of what he does, our life is different. 

Jimmy’s growing fame was originally a source of great insecurity and frustration for me. When we got married, all our friends and family knew me for me: my personality, my strengths and weakness, my love for Jesus. But when we were on the road, people only knew me for one thing: I was married to Jimmy.

“Ooohhh, you’re Jimmy’s wife!” “You are so lucky to be married to Jimmy Needham!” “Oh my gosh, your husband is just so cute!” Jimmy’s fans had no other way to identify me than with him. I was Mrs. Needham. Not Kelly, the Jesus-lover, the classical music listener, the competitive board game player. Just Jimmy’s wife. Unfortunately, being around all these Jimmy-centered comments caused me to begin to define myself by my husband. And thus my insecurity was birthed. Jesus was a solid place for my identity to rest. It wasn’t threatened there. But when my identity rested on my husband, it was very very shaky.

It was through these experiences that God showed me I had put my hope in the wrong place. And still, every time I am on the road with Jimmy, it causes me to check my heart. Within moments of arriving at the venue, I am immediately aware of where my hope has been. If I am filled with insecurities, I know that I have some work to do in my heart. If my confidence doesn’t waver, I know that my trust is in the right place.

Another major area affected by Jimmy’s chosen career path is my life at home. Jimmy is on the road anywhere from 2-5 days a week on average. This means that on those days he is gone, I live as a single mom for the most part. I take care of our house, our meals, our shopping, our daughter, and our dog by myself. I wake up alone and go to bed alone and often go to church alone. Even though these days are often exhausting, I am so grateful for this aspect of my life.

Why would I be grateful, you might ask? Every time Jimmy goes on the road, I sense God asking me: “Am I still enough for you?” Through all my days of singleness I often confessed that Jesus alone was all I needed and these days of aloneness remind me this is still true. And what a wonderful thing to be reminded of! Jesus is truly all I need. He is enough for me! On these days, any dependence I have put on my husband gets worked out of my heart and put back on Jesus. Consequently, I often have sweet times of prayer and worship and study in the Word on these days alone.

Another reason I am grateful for Jimmy’s travel is that I get to look forward to him coming home! Though a life of routine and him being home every night would be really nice, I think it could also become boring. On a weekly basis, I get the privilege of anticipating my husband’s arrival and finding new ways to welcome him home. This has brought a joy and a spark of freshness in our marriage that I am so glad for!

Honestly, the hardest part about Jimmy traveling is that it causes me to be alone. Not lonely. Just literally alone. And God created us for community with other people. It is good for us. So I have found that I have to be very very intentional about getting together with people. I try to find at least one friend to see each day. If that doesn’t work, I make sure that I get out of the house once a day, even if it is to just walk around Target with Lively just for fun (thought I can’t bring my wallet or I will find something that I “need.”)

Overall, I am so incredibly grateful for the life God has allowed me to have. I could complain… about the time I have to spend alone, the lack of attention I get on the road, the absence of routine. But complaining is pretty unfulfilling (not to mention a sin, phil 2:14, 1 thess 5:18). The very things that are hard about my life are what make me need Jesus more, which brings me to my main point: And anything that makes me need God more is a blessing! It is better to have a challenging life that pushes me closer to Christ, than a comfortable one that allows me to become complacent in my walk with Him. So I am incredibly grateful.

Not to mention that my husband is the only man I’ve ever found that loves to talk about Jesus as much as me! He is more God-centered and more determined to seek Him than anyone I have ever met. How grateful I am to be his wife!


PS, I thought this might be an opportune time to share a few things NOT to say to an artist’s wife. Though these comments don’t affect me quite as much as they used to, there are better ways to say what you mean than this. And yes, I have heard every one of these statements… a lot.

“You are so lucky to be married to Jimmy Needham!” What this communicates is that I don’t really have that much value in our marriage. What you mean to say is that you really value what he does and who he is. So instead say this: “I really appreciate the ministry of your husband! He is a gifted songwriter and a great performer!”

“You’re husband is so cute/hot/attractive!” First of all, I am usually shocked by this comment. This communicates that you have a physical interest in my husband which is not good on any level. It is a form of the sin of lust for you and puts me on the defense as his wife immediately. While I agree with these comments and it is ok to acknowledge someone is good looking, I am his wife! Just don’t say this at all please. Thank you. =)

“I bet he sings you songs every night and writes you poetry, etc.” This communicates that because I am married to Jimmy, our marriage must be like something out of the movies. By the nature of what Jimmy does, you have just seen him and I at our best, so it may be natural to think we live some kind of dreamy life. But we are normal people with a pretty normal life (beside what I have mentioned in this post). So a comment like this can make me feel bad for our non-dreamy marriage. If you are interested in our life at home just ask. Something like this would be better: “Does Jimmy sing a lot at home? Does he ever sing to you just for fun?” Slight change, but makes a huge difference.


A few things that people have said to me that I really appreciate:

“Thank you for your sacrifice in letting Jimmy travel and minister through his music. It has made a huge difference in my life.” I am always grateful when someone realizes the difference that was made in their life through Jimmy’s music is partly due to the fact that I am supporting/encouraging/praying for him from home. These kinds of comments give me fuel and purpose to get through the hard days.

“Tell me a little bit about you. I heard you play violin?” Any time I am asked about me for me that is wonderful. I am so used to others being interested in me because of Jimmy that it is a treat when someone is interested in me.

“How can I pray for you and Jimmy?” This is always great because we always need prayer and are always grateful when someone offers to support us in this way!

Hopefully these things can help you be a blessing to any other artist’s wives you meet or interact with on the web.

Norwegian Lessons

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Lively in Sweden!

1:30am here in Norway, and Jimmy is about to take the stage for the 3rd time today! You’d think that’d be way to late to start a concert, but since it doesn’t get dark till around 11pm, it’s easier to stay up that long. I actually don’t know if these people actually sleep at night! I’m definitely loving the long days, but 9pm comes so quickly when the sun is up! It’s amazing how much I count on the sunset to let me know what time it is.


I mentioned in my last blog that I have been hoping God would speak to me while we’re here, and so far He’s come through! Though the lessons I’m learning since arriving in Scandinavia have been good, they’ve also been hard. It all started with “an honest moment” I had with God in Sweden a couple days ago. Though I’m generally pretty frank with Him, I tend to keep silent when my frustration is aimed at how He is running things because I know how limited my view is. But every now and then, I just have to let Him know my grievances. Let me share this moment of honesty with you.

It began with a challenging travel day with Lively. I rely very heavily on His grace on these days to get me through each task and challenge. Sometimes those challenges are figuring out where to nurse her while at an outdoor festival or trying to soothe her on a 9 hour flight. This particular day was our first in Sweden and I had been asking Him for help with many things and all to no avail. Lively was fussy most of the day and all of my attempts to soothe her either simply didn’t work or backfired. I didn’t understand why God wasn’t helping me like He usually does! At the end of the day, my dissatisfaction with how things had gone overflowed into one very angry prayer: “God, why aren’t you helping me?! I don’t understand! I believe you can help me because I have seen you do it before. Are you just not listening this time?! I really need you now, so where are you?!”

Lively and I on the Norwegian coast



I don’t feel like I got much of an answer that night, though it is always relieving to be honest with God. The following day was not any better with Lively. As I echoed my prayer from the night before, I felt Him respond to me: “So, you want me to make everything easy for you, is that right?”


Sigh. Yes, I guess that is exactly what I am asking. As I realized the truth of what my request meant, I thought to myself, “And that is rarely what God wants… for things to be easy.” I recalled what He had recently shown me through the Word (Lessons in Sleeplessness): I am to consider myself His servant in the midst of stressful and trying circumstances. Goodness, how could I forget that so quickly. I had also forgotten a fundamental thing about motherhood: like many things, it is intended to sanctify me, to get rid of the selfishness still left in me so I can become more like Jesus. (1 Tim 2:15, Rom 8:29)

View of a small portion of the festival in Norway

Often, being a mother prevents me from doing what I want to do when I want to do it. And quite frankly, it’s really frustrating! For example, during the festival in Norway, I was really enjoying talking with all the other bands and Norwegians backstage when Lively began to get upset. Of course I hadn’t realized how close it was to her bedtime because the sun was still up. I had hoped to explore all the different booths, find a Norwegian shirt, and then stick around for Jimmy’s acoustic concert. With every cry I felt that plan falling apart. Instead, I headed back to the hotel to put her to bed and wait around until Jimmy got done. Lame! I’m in Norway! Who sits in a hotel room when you’re in Norway! A mother of a 6 month old, that’s who. It’s in those moments I say to myself: “I can’t do what I want to do when I want to do it. And that is exactly what God wants for me.” He wants to show me how to sacrifice my own wants and preferences for the sake of serving someone else. That is exactly what Jesus did for me, and my life goal is to become more like Him right? Not to see Norway.


The process of sanctification is not fun; on the other hand, it is very hard. And yet what it produces makes it so worthwhile: freedom from self-worship and selfishness and the fruit of the spirit: joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, self-control and more. I greatly dislike the process, but am always glad to find that afterwards I am able to tackle even more difficult situations with peace and joy. Right now, I am still kind of in the disliking part, but trying to make the best of it and enjoy the quietness of our sleeping sweetheart. But at the end of the day, I am sure grateful that God’s current instrument of sanctification in my life is the cutest little girl I’ve ever seen. And truthfully, I’d give up seeing Norway any day for her. =)

Greetings from Sweden!

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Greetings from Sweden!


Lively and I are traveling with Jimmy and the band this week on a tour of Scandinavia! We will be visiting the beautiful countries of Sweden, Norway, and Denmark and enjoying the cool weather and many hours of sunlight! Being here reminds me of when Jimmy was in Denmark last September. It was during his 10 day trip to Denmark that I decided to do 10 days of prayer and repentance. What a joyful and sweet time that was for me! You can read about what God spoke to me here on my blog in the September archives. This week, I am hoping and praying God speaks to me just as clearly!

Honestly today, I am just happy to not be on a plane! I feel like every mom who travels overseas with an infant should be given an award! A 3-hour flight followed by a 9-hour flight is no small feat. Especially when you have passengers staring at you every time your baby cries. Then we arrived in a country where it is 7 hours ahead of the time zone Lively has known all her short life and where the sun doesn’t set till 10pm and rises around 3am. Let’s just say yesterday was just a tad exhausting.

Now that both my daughter and I have had a good night’s sleep, things are going much better. =) Plus, it is always a joy to be around Jimmy’s band. These guys are like brothers to me and are such incredible men of God. They have embraced Lively like their own niece and gladly entertain her and hold her as I need help.

So now that we have settled in here in beautiful Sweden, I’d like to share with you some of the things I’ve learned in my day and a half of being here:


1. Don’t assume every carton next to the cereal is milk. Today I poured what appeared to be something like sour cream on my cereal.
2. There are a lot of very tall and very blonde people in Sweden.
3. You don’t need air conditioning here because even in the summer it is cool.
4. The Swedish have really good coffee!
5. Needing sunglasses outside at 9pm is a very strange feeling.


That’s all for now! I’ll be posting pictures later this week and more updates from Norway. Goodbye for now!