Category Archives: prayer

Four Marks of A Pharisee

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The chief priests and the elders came to Jesus. … And Jesus said to them, “Truly I say to you that the tax collectors and prostitutes will get into the kingdom of God before you.”  Matthew 21:23-32

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Last week I shared about my personal realization that I was a Closet Pharisee.  Though I had a true love for Jesus, my pursuit of holiness took a slight wrong turn and a hidden and insidious pride began to grow in my heart.  If you grew up in church like me, you must be careful to discern your heart in this matter.  You may know certain truths in your head that your heart does not yet believe.  I knew that “all had sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”  I knew that “the wages of sin is death.”  I could tell you that I deserved hell for my sins and that I was saved “by grace alone through faith and that not of myself or works so that no one may boast.”  Yet, in my heart and my actions, I believed I was good enough on my own apart from Jesus.  As you read this, I invite you to check your heart and motives.  Just because you have a genuine love for God and aren’t aware of any sin in your heart, doesn’t mean it isn’t there.

The Danger of Self-righteousness

The Pharisees were the religious leaders in Jesus’s day.  They were very moral and religious people who were often in the temple, studying the Law and making sacrifices.  And ironically, they receive the harshest words of judgment from Jesus during his time on earth.  Why is this?  Because they looked to their own good works and good deeds to save them.  Therefore, they didn’t have the ability to relate to Jesus as a savior, because they were looking to themselves for that.  They were self-righteous, looking for righteousness within themselves.  Comparatively, this is why the prostitutes and tax collectors, who knew they had no righteousness and no hope of salvation in themselves, were able to receive Jesus as savior.  As our pastor said earlier this month, “The Pharisees good behavior is more dangerous and more damning than the sin of tax collectors and prostitutes.”

Just as in Jesus’s day, a self-righteous heart is still the premier enemy of the Gospel of Jesus today.  It is the self-righteous ones that are in the most danger of missing salvation.  So what does it mean to be self-righteous?  Self-righteousness is relating to God based on your performance for God.  This manifests in both feeling good about yourself when you are doing well and feeling discouraged when you are battling sin.  Both are performance-based ways to relate to God.

If Jesus’s harshest words of judgment are to the Pharisees, then it would serve us well to be quick to identify our inclinations toward self-righteousness and repent quickly of our pharisaical ways.  Jesus himself, speaking of the scribes and Pharisees, said “Do not do according to their deeds.” (Matt 23:3)

Four Marks of a Pharisee

What does it mean to be a Pharisee?  How do we avoid their condemnable way of life?  Here are a few identifying characteristics of these self-righteous, religious, anti-Jesus people.

They trusted in themselves for their righteousness & viewed others with contempt.

And He also told this parable to some people who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and viewed other with contempt: Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector.  The Pharisee stood and was praying this to himself: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people: swindlers, unjust adulterers, or even like this tax collector.  I fast twice a week; I pay tithes of all that I get.’ … I tell you, this man was not justified.”  Luke 18:9-14

It can be hard to truly discern if we are trusting in ourselves for righteousness when we know all the right Christian answers.  But there are a few side effects of trusting in yourself that we see from this text.  The first is that you view others with contempt.  Contempt means the feeling that a person is beneath consideration, worthless, or deserving scorn.  This means that in your heart you tend to look down on others who you perceive to be “worse sinners” than yourself.  This may be that sorority girl who sleeps around and gets drunk on the weekends, or the gay barista that you see every week at Starbucks or the Christian mom who divorced her husband and now puts her children in day care to go to work.  As soon as you stray away from the worldview that we are ALL sinners in desperate need of the grace of God for ANY good to be accomplished in our lives, you are following the prideful way of the Pharisee.

Secondly, you feel confident before God because of what you have done for Him.  It’s one thing to desire to honor God with your life because He has saved you.  It’s another thing when your good deeds become the reason you feel that God can accept you and be pleased with you.  If any of your confidence is found in how good you are, then like the Pharisees you have believed the lie that you can be good apart from God.  Consequently, this will cause you to feel as if the world is falling apart when you are struggling with outward sin.

  • Do you feel comforted by the thought that you are a “better person” or “better Christian” than others in your life?
  • Are there certain people you find it hard to have compassion on?
  • When you think about how your spiritual life is going, do you immediately look to what you have done for God?
  • Do you feel comforted and confident after you’ve had a long quiet time?  Or when you have given a lot of money?  Or shared the gospel a certain number of times?
  • Do you feel like you can’t approach God when you aren’t meeting your own standards of righteousness?

They do everything to be noticed by others and love to have the outward signs of holiness.

They do all their deeds to be noticed by men; for they broaden their phylacteries and lengthen the tassels of their garments.  Matthew 23:5

phylacteriesFirst of all, what is a phylactery?  These were small cases containing scripture worn on the left arm and forehead for religious purposes in Jewish culture.  These and the tassels of their garments were outward signs of spirituality that the Pharisees made sure others could see.  We may not wear scripture on our foreheads and arms, but that doesn’t mean we don’t magnify and “broaden” our own outward signs of holiness in our American Christian culture.  Some of these signs may include: abstinence from alcohol, not dating around or sleeping around, not spending money frivolously, sharing the Gospel, not going to the wrong parties, etc.   None of these are bad things in and of themselves.  In fact, these can all be good things that honor God when done with the right heart.  The problem is when we do these things with the purpose to be seen by others and to make ourselves look good.

  • Do you take pride in areas of outward holiness?  Do you often compare yourself to others in these areas?
  • Do you forsake the unseen spiritual disciplines in your life (prayer, serving your family or roommates, self-discipline while you are alone)?
  • Do you often think about how others will view you if you do or don’t do something?
  • Do you look for moments in conversation to tell others about your spiritual disciplines (prayer, fasting, giving, sharing the gospel, etc)? Or do you regularly share about these things on social media?
  • Do you spend more time seeking God (in prayer, Bible reading, worshipping, etc) when you are with others than when you are alone?

They loved being honored and elevated above others.

[The Pharisees] love the place of honor at banquets and the chief seats in the synagogues, and respectful greetings in the market places, and being called Rabbi by men. Matthew 23:6-7

This may be a hard characteristic to discern in yourself.  You may even read that statement and think to yourself, “That’s not me.  I don’t need to be honored or elevated.”  But often a truer test of our hearts is how we respond when others are honored and elevated, especially those close to us or those we deem as less spiritual.

Before traveling with Jimmy, I never would have thought I desired honor and elevation.  Then, I found myself with him at concerts every weekend where he was often recognized and praised publicly.  All of the sudden, I was consumed with thoughts of, “What about me?  Does anyone see how spiritual I am?”  My true desires were revealed that I loved honor.  I loved recognition.

  • Is it hard for you to be truly happy for others when they are honored and praised?
  • When someone else is honored, do you immediately compare yourself to him or her or wonder why no one has said that of you yet?
  • Do you go above and beyond with the secret hope that those around you will notice and publicly praise you?
  • When someone “less spiritual” or younger than you is honored, are you eaten up with jealousy?
  • Do you long to be a teacher, pastor, worship leader, or in full time ministry so that you can be looked up to or have people underneath you?
  • Would you be content if you knew God had called you to a lifetime of service behind the scenes or would you secretly always want something more?

They feel compelled to justify themselves to men to keep up appearances.

And Jesus said to [the Pharisees], “You are those who justify yourselves in the sight of men, but God knows your hearts; for that which is highly esteemed among men is detestable in the sight of God.” Luke 16:15

This will look different for everyone depending on the image you are trying to protect.  For most Jesus followers, myself included, we take pride in different aspects of being a “good Christian.”  This could be how you dress and how much makeup you wear, how you eat, who and how you date, how you spend your time, or what you read. I tend to take pride in being a conservative spender and a generous giver.  So when something happened that could disrupt my image, I sought to justify myself before others.  For example, my dad bought me a very expensive and nice piece of jewelry for my wedding.  When others complimented me, I couldn’t just say thank you.  I felt compelled to explain that it was a gift from my dad to make sure everyone knew I didn’t spend that much money on myself.  Likewise, if I was complimented on a new outfit, I just had to explain how great of a deal I got and all the coupons I used and “can you believe all the proceeds go to charity?!”  Sadly, this revealed a desire to be seen as holy and good before others more than a desire to see God glorified in my heart and my actions.

  • Do you feel compelled to explain yourself and your motives to others?
  • Do you have a hard time receiving compliments about certain things without explaining yourself?
  • Do you look for moments in conversation to tell others why you do what you do?

While these are only a few distinguishing marks of the Pharisees (you can read about more in Matthew 23, Luke 13:10-17, 14:12-14), ultimately all these things boil down to pride.  Of all the offensive things to God, there is none greater than pride (Prov 6:16-18, 8:13, Ps 101:5). For “everyone who is proud in heart is an abomination to the Lord;
Assuredly, he will not be unpunished.”(Proverbs 16:5)

The Antidote

For You do not delight in sacrifice, otherwise I would give it; You are not pleased with burnt offering.  The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; A broken and contrite heart, O God, You will not despise.  Psalm 51:16-17

Even as I write this list I am overwhelmed with brokenness as I consider how great a sinner I am.  This list has far too often described me.  I am as the one to whom Jesus said “Woe to you, hypocrite! For you clean the outside of the cup and of the dish, but inside you are full of self-indulgence. Woe to you! For you are like a whitewashed tomb which on the outside appears beautiful, but inside is full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness.  So you, too, outwardly appear righteous to men, but inwardly you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.” (Matt 23:25-28)  Of all types of sinners, I am the worst.  I belittle the work of Jesus on the cross with my arrogant confidence in myself and yet say all the right things on the outside to appear holy to protect my own reputation.  Yet praise be to God that He has not dealt with me according to my sins or rewarded me according to my iniquity but instead has justified me as a gift by His grace through the redemption which is in Jesus! (Ps 103:10, Rom 3:24)

If you read the above list and found yourself identifying with these anti-Jesus religious people, then let the first response be one of sincere brokenness.  More than good deeds and longer quiet times, God desires a broken and contrite heart that is humble and repentant before him.  If you need to, get on your knees now and repent before God for allowing the despicable sin of pride to dwell in your heart.  If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)

After confession and repentance, there are four practical ways that I regularly fight pharisaical pride in my heart.  I will discuss those in my next blog.

Is Jesus Really Enough?

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Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me
On and on and on and on it goes
It overwhelms and satisfies my soul
I never ever have to be afraid
One thing remains


These are lyrics to a worship song called “One Thing Remains.” We sang it in church a couple weeks ago and one line in particular stood out to me: It overwhelms and satisfies my soul. It reminds me of my favorite verses in Philippians 3:7-9 which speak of the “surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus” in which everything else by comparison is rubbish. The love of God… is it true that it overwhelms and satisfies my soul?


And what if that were true? What if His love not only satisfied my soul, but overwhelmed it to a point of overflowing? There would be such contentment in my heart and soul that all other longings and unfulfilled desires would dissipate. I would be so filled up by the love of God that I would no longer seek what I can get from my earthly relationships, but rather what I can give. All sorrow, pain, and sadness would shrink in the shadow of the love of God for me. In all areas of life I would be operating from a place of contentedness, not desperate longings for things other than God.


We sing this song and others like it with such passion on Sunday mornings, but often live a life that screams “God isn’t enough for me. I need X, Y, or Z to be content, happy, and fulfilled.” In my conversations with others, I hear many longings for marriage, for children, for better friends, for a better husband, for a change in life circumstances, for more money, for “whatever it is” to be over with. There is a sense in which if we just had that one thing, THEN I would be overflowing and full in my heart. Can we be honest for a second? If we are waiting on anything other than God to have a full heart, then we have created an idol. God is no longer our God and no longer the one who fills our soul. He is no longer the One in whom we have placed our hope. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be married or wanting a season of life to be over, but as soon as we need that to happen to be completely fulfilled, it is an idol.


So where do we go from here? May I first suggest that we stop being satisfied with singing songs in church, quoting Scripture and then living like none of it is true. It doesn’t matter what we say we believe or what we sing; our actions will show the true beliefs of our heart. If you feel as if you could never be happy unless you are married, have children, etc, then be honest with yourself, God, and others. Admit that you’re setting your hope on something else and don’t actually believe that God alone is enough for you. Let’s start by being honest about what we actually believe because we can actually move forward from there. If you aren’t being honest, you are deceiving yourself and creating a roadblock for any spiritual growth. Any progress you try to make spiritually won’t last if you are building on a foundation that isn’t actually there.


So why do we have such a hard time being honest with ourselves in the first place? I think we desperately want to have it all together and be “the good Christian” with all the right answers. Maybe it’s because we care way too much about what others think of us or maybe it’s because we think that’s how we can please God. Either way, this causes us to lack a sense of raw honesty about where we are at and what we actually think about God and who we are as believers. There is something in most of us that hesitates to say, “I know the Bible says that everything is a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Jesus, but I don’t actually believe that right now.” But if we want to see true growth and freedom from idols in our life, I believe it will start with that kind of honesty.


In my own life, being honest looks like accepting my heart’s tendency to find its fulfillment in things other than Jesus. Once I perceive that I am no longer believing Jesus to be enough for me, I can identify the idols I’ve created. An idol is usually the one thing I want and think will make me “feel better” or “be ok.” Once I identify the idol, it is time to get rid of it. I confess to God and at least one other person my sin of creating an idol and putting it before Him and pray that in His power and through Jesus’ work on the cross that He would remove it and help me to let it go. This has included letting go of dreams, goals, and expectations I had for my life (which, by the way, is extremely difficult and often painful). All things I thought I needed IN ADDITION to the love of God in my life. After days, weeks, and sometimes months, of working to uproot the idol from my heart I am ready for God to come back in as the rightful desire of my soul. But again, this is not always an easy process.


Even after ridding idols from my heart, I often feel unsure that God will actually be enough for me in their absence. But it doesn’t really matter how I feel; my feelings are rarely based in reality. The Word of God on the other hand, is absolute truth and will never change and never ever fade away. So this is where the faith-walking part comes in: choosing to believe the Word of God above my feelings. What does that look like? For me, this looks like “sick soul care.” This is something I do immediately after discovering an idol in my heart. When my body is sick, I take extra measures to get it back to a healthy place by getting extra rest, taking extra vitamins, and cutting out junk food. In the same way, when I realize my soul has been unhealthy I take extra measures to get it healthy again through extra doses of Bible reading in my day, cutting out forms of media whose message is unbiblical, and more time in prayer to be honest with God about the condition of my heart. And without fail, when I take these extra measures, in a matter of days or weeks, I find myself falling in love with God all over again. My soul, in its healthy state, again begins to proclaim, “Yes, Jesus, you truly are more than enough for me!”


My challenge on this Sunday morning, is that we would no longer sing worship songs that our hearts really don’t believe. Instead of singing the lyrics, pray that God would make them true in your heart. Let’s begin to be honest with ourselves and one another when we are struggling to believe that Jesus is enough so we can deal with the idols in our hearts. Better to be honest about any “sickness” in our soul than act as if we are healthy. Let’s pursue Jesus together from a real honest place so that we might see true victory over the idols in our hearts!

Clearing the Stage: A Means to an End

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I hope you have all had the opportunity to read Jimmy’s “Clearing the Stage” blogs this week on his facebook page. They have been phenomenal and full of truth and wisdom. He has mentioned a quote from Tim Keller defining idolatry as “turning good things into ultimate things.” I love this definition because it reminds us that it isn’t always something inherently evil that takes God’s place; often times it is something good.


I began praying this morning that God would reveal more things that push Him out center stage in my life. As I wrote down things that came to mind, none of them were bad things: my desire to be a good wife and mom, my desire for a clean and orderly house, to be a good friend, just to name a few. All of these things are good and righteous desires, but often they are the very things that keep me from God. When my desire to be a good wife, mom, friend, or homemaker compete with my desire to know God more, it’s my time with God that usually gets cut. I justify this by telling myself, “I can spend time with God any time I want to, but right now I need to (fill in the blank).” I am have become so quick to cut out my Jesus time because “I can fit Him in anywhere.” But usually, the end of those days come sooner than I realize, and I find I haven’t thought twice about my God.


Sometimes I wonder if I treated one of my friends the way I treat God, how would she respond? I have a lunch date planned with her to catch up, but the kitchen is really dirty and I had better clean it. So I cancel about 5 minutes before with no more reason than it isn’t a good time any more. Or I tell her she is really the best friend I have and I want to meet at least once a week, but I only show up to half of the dates we set because I forgot or had something “more important” come up. I don’t think she would be my friend for very long. Yet, sadly, this is often how I treat Jesus, the savior of my soul. Yes, it is true that if we have trusted in Jesus as our Savior, His spirit dwells within us and we have access to Him 24/7. But should that really give me the right to treat God such flippancy and disrespect?


I think even more telling are the times that I am most desperate for God and consistent in prayer. It’s usually in very difficult seasons when I am seeking Him for something. My tendency is to use God as a means to an end, instead of the only end that I really need. Let me share a quote from one of my favorite booklets called “The Abba Cry” by Don Lessin:

“Jesus must never become the means to an end. If your self-interests are the loudest sound within you, Jesus will become a means to that end. We may never admit it outwardly, but in our hearts we will know if Jesus is no longer the end we live for. If human relations take the place of Jesus, those relationships will become the loudest sound within you. Christian ministry can become the loudest sound that you hear. Ministry, marvelous ministry, can move Jesus into the shadows, even in the midst of working hard for Him.”



Don shares from his own experience in ministry saying “Walking in and out of the presence of God, and looking to Him for quick answers, I found that Jesus had become the means to an end. I never ceased loving and serving Him, but He was not the center of my being.” Oh how true this is in me at times. I let the peripheral things (family, friends, hobbies, cleaning, and ministry) take center stage in my life, pushing Jesus to the sidelines.


The more aware I become of this tendency in my heart, the easier it is to identify when I am slipping into this form of idolatry. Here are a few ways I have begun to notice Jesus becoming a means to an end: When my times with God become about what I can get from Him instead of how I can get to know Him. When my prayer life is only full of asking God for things, instead of talking with God about things. When I am quick to cancel my appointed time with Him for other lesser things. May this trend in my life come to an end as Jesus becomes the central theme and song of my heart. I pray that my heart becomes so bent on knowing Jesus more that my life would scream, “everything is a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ!” (Phil 3:7-8) and that my time with Jesus would become so precious and dear to me that I will sacrifice other things to preserve my time with Him.


Let me close by sharing a challenge for us all by Don: “Is Jesus what you really want? Is He enough? It’s not that ministry is wrong, or that having a beautiful family is wrong, but these things should be an outflow of our passion for Him. Way down deep, do you hear the voice of the Spirit of God talking to your spirit? Do you hear God saying, ‘Turn off all the sounds within you, but My voice. Turn off the sound of business, family, and ministry. Turn off the TV, the radio, and the music. Turn off the call of sports and movies and entertainment. Let it all be silent within you, and hear My voice’? As you listen to His voice what do you hear? Do you hear the Spirit saying, ‘Are you satisfied with Jesus? Are you really interested in taking time to be beautiful inside?’ I encourage you to get quiet before Him today and nail down in your spirit what is the loudest sound that you want to hear.”


Please, do yourself a favor and order a copy of “The Abba Cry” here. It costs $3 and will take 30 minutes to read through. I try to read it once every couple months simply as a heart check. Since it is so cheap, maybe order a few copies and give one to a friend or someone in vocational ministry.

Clearing the Stage: Noise

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Take a break from all the plans that you have made
And sit at home alone and wait for God to whisper
Beg Him please to open up His mouth and speak
And pray for real upon your knees until they blister
Shine the light on every corner of your life
Until the pride and lust and lies are in the open
Then read the Word and put to test the things you’ve heard
Until your heart and soul are stirred and rocked and broken
-Lyrics from “Clear the Stage”


Oh how I love the lyrics to this song. And yet the dangerous thing is that while the Spirit inside me testifies to how good it is to sit and wait on God, this rarely turns into action. I am often so bent on being productive (as I wrote about in yesterday’s post), that I forget what it means to sit still and wait on God to speak. I tend to fill every second of my day with something in hopes to make the most of my time. But if I were to look at my time with spiritual eyes, the reality would be that I am filling my day with so much noise that there is very little room for God to speak.


What does this noise look like? Lately, it’s been way too much “screen time:” TV, internet (Facebook, pinterest, email, etc.), and iPhone apps and games. I begun thinking about how much time is wasted through these avenues a few weeks ago before the season of Lent started. Jimmy and I have never given anything up for Lent, as it often seems to be for so many simply a religious practice with little or no meaning. But we have some wonderful families around us that have redeemed this practice with more purpose, using the denying of ourselves as a reminder in this season of the sacrifice Christ made for us. So we both decided to fast from something. I knew Jimmy was going to be gone much of this Lenten season and I tend to turn the TV on more in his absence. I think it makes me feel less alone. So I decided to “give up” all TV watching for these 40 days until we celebrate the resurrection of Christ.


It was interesting that the first couple days of this TV fast, I spent an abnormally large amount of time on my computer. Jimmy’s comment to me as I was talking about this with him was: “So, essentially you’ve just replaced your TV time with a different form of distraction.” Ouch. But unfortunately true. What is it that makes me so averse to sitting still in silence? Is it our culture that pushes productivity, our highly technological society that keeps us continually busy, or my own selfish desires to do what I want rather than wait on God?


In 1 Kings 19, Elijah hears from God as he is fleeing for his life from the evil Jezebel. God tells him to go stand on the mountain as He passed by. First a great and strong wind came, breaking the mountains into pieces. “But the Lord was not in the wind.” And then an earthquake, “but the Lord was not in the earthquake.” And then a fire, “but the Lord was not in the fire.” And finally, the sound of a gentle blowing… and it is in this quiet form that God speaks to Elijah. What a wonderful reminder to my distraction-prone heart that it is often in quiet whispers that God speaks. And I will never hear this treasured whisper of God unless I quiet my life and my heart enough to make room for it.


Since the conversation I had with Jimmy, I’ve sought to use the time I’ve freed up during this fast to seek God through more time in the Word and prayer, listening to podcasts, and playing worship music. And as would be expected, I have felt more filled with the Spirit and more sensitive to His voice than I have in many, many months. Slowly I am being reminded of the beautiful discipline of waiting in silence for God. Just yesterday, I had the opportunity to experience this. As I was hitting the last hour of my drive home, the sun was setting. I turned the music down and drove in silence, watching one of the most beautiful sunsets I’ve seen in years. I kept asking, “Lord what are you saying to me in this?” and simply waiting to hear from God. And sure enough, He brought a couple different things to my mind and revealed subtle errors in my way of thinking. What could have been a busy, distracted, and rather thoughtless drive home became a wonderful time of repentance and fellowship with God.


I wonder how many of these sweet moments I’ve missed because I have my face glued to a screen all day. It saddens me to think about how little time I leave in my day for God to speak. I don’t want to miss any of the marvelous truths He has to share with me about Himself! I want to truly wait on Him with quietness of heart and mind.


God, please give me spiritual eyes to see my day how you see it! Help me to see time spent with you and waiting on you as my most valuable time! Forgive me for the hours upon hours that I’ve wasted on pointless things that don’t matter. Grant me the discipline to leave space in my day for quietness, denying my urges to mindlessly read facebook and twitter feeds, play games, and surf the web. Give me the heart that David had in Psalm 62:1,5: “My soul waits in silence for God only.” Only You Lord can give me the ability to make these changes in my life for good. I trust in You and long for Your voice to be the loudest voice in my life. In Jesus name, Amen.


Check out Jimmy’s “Clearing the Stage” blog for today on his facebook page.

List-focused vs Jesus-focused

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Thanks to those of you who have already responded to my last post, Back to the Basics. This is a response to one of the comments on that blog. Someone asked “How exactly do you intend to shift your focus from your to do list to Jesus? What do you intend to do differently?” Thanks for responding and that is a great question!

I first want to mention that I don’t think to-do lists are bad in and of themselves. I think writing out a list of things that need to get done is a helpful tool and very useful. I don’t think I will ever stop doing that as a way to stay organized and on task. But like any good thing can, my to-do lists often take the place of Jesus in my life.

It sounds funny to think I could make a to-do list an idol in my life, but it happens regularly. Here are some lyrics from the song “Clear the Stage” by a friend of ours, Ross King:

Anything I put before my God is an idol.
Anything I want with all my heart is an idol.
Anything I can’t stop thinking of is an idol.
Anything that I give all my love is an idol.
We must not worship something that’s not even worth it.
Clear the stage and make some space for the one who deserves it.


(Wow do I love that song!) “Anything I can’t stop thinking of is an idol…” Often that is all I am thinking about in a day: what’s next on my to do list. How can I get more done? When is Lively going to sleep so I can get things 2,3, and 5 done on my list. I will choose to be productive rather than sit with God. And I often long to get everything done way more than I long to get to know God more. Unfortunately, all these things point to my list being an idol in my life.

This doesn’t mean I can’t ever make a list ever again. Jimmy has also been an idol in my life, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be married to him. It just means I have to always to make sure that God is still on the throne of my life and my number one priority because everything else is always trying to take His place.

So, how does a list-a-holic keep Jesus the focus of her day? Before I write out some practical ways that I do this, I wanted to mention that first and foremost it is a heart attitude that keeps Jesus central, not a step-by-step program.

The story of Mary and Martha in Luke 10 is the best picture of what it looks like to be focused on Jesus rather than focused on doing. Mary is sitting and listening to Jesus and Martha is busy getting her home ready for Jesus. Martha had great intentions in all her busyness, but the Bible says she was “distracted.” Distracted from what? From Jesus! But Mary had her whole attention on Him and was resting at His feet. The question for list-a-holics like me is always this: “Well then, does that mean I sit around and do nothing all day but pray and read the Bible? Practically I can’t do that. There are actually things that have to get done.”

The book “Grace Walk” by Steve McVey gave me great insight into this. Here is a quote from the book:

Jesus could have said to Martha, “Now calm down. What you are doing is good, but what Mary is doing is important too. Both serving and resting have their proper place. Martha, you need to learn balance.” Yet that isn’t what He said. Instead, He said, “But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.” How many things? One thing is needed–resting in Him. Does this statement minimize the importance of serving Jesus? Not at all. How do you suppose Mary would have responded if Jesus had asked her to bring Him a glass of water? She would have immediately have spring into action. On the other hand, if He had asked Martha for a glass of water, she might not have even heard Him because she was too busy making His bed–and He wasn’t even sleepy! Do you see the point? Resting in Christ is the sole responsibility of the Christian. Everything else flows out of that.

The point is this: when you choose to daily keep your focus on Jesus, He will clearly lead you in everything else. And instead of wasting your time on frivolous things that won’t matter in the end, you will spend all your time on important things that do matter because you are being directed by Jesus. I don’t want to be so distracted with my to-do list that I can’t hear the direction Jesus is giving me. I want to rest in Him and in His peace, knowing that as I do that, He will help me accomplish everything that actually needs to get done. It might not be everything I wanted to get done, but it will be exactly what He wanted for me that day. And after all, Jesus knows way better than me the best way to spend my day.

So in light of that, here are a few things that I do to try and stay seated at Jesus’s feet all day and keep myself from being a frantic Martha:

SET APART TIME WITH GOD AND HIS WORD FIRST
This is by far the most important thing for me. If I just start my day doing, doing, doing, it will be 4pm before I know it and I haven’t thought of God once. But if I dedicate some time for reading my Bible and journaling in the first part of my day, even if only for 15 minutes, that makes a huge difference. This time is a refocusing time. Every morning I wake up with my default set on myself and the things of this world, which is a product of living with indwelling sin and in a world that doesn’t revolve around Jesus. So I have to intentionally change my default setting in my mind by refocusing on more eternal things that I can’t see. “So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” (2 Corin 4:18) It is very unnatural to focus on things that are unseen. It doesn’t happen by accident, it takes effort. That’s why it’s so important for me to have time to refocus my mind on my unseen God. Reading the Bible is key because it is 100% truth (2 Tim 3:16) that I can count it. It is also living and active (Heb 4:12) and gives me ammunition for the day to fight off things that threaten to take my focus off of Jesus. Then spending time communicating with God through writing helps me to not just gain head knowledge but communicate with Him about what is on my heart and mind and ask for help in those situations.

Side note: Being a mom now has caused me to have to rethink when I spend my time with God. My days often start out with a crying baby that needs my attention which doesn’t always allow for the very first part of my day to be dedicated to reading the Bible. So I have been setting apart her morning nap time for my time with God. It is still pretty early in the day and allows me some time to myself to really refocus and connect with God. Whatever your situation is, if it is unreasonable for you to spend the first part of your day in the Bible, get creative and find a solution that works for you. Do anything you can that helps to refocus and reset your default to Jesus instead of self in the early part of your day.

STOP AND PRAY
I need little check-points throughout my day to help me keep my focus on Jesus. It could be an alarm on my phone that just reminds me to spend 3-5 minutes reconnected with God or singing a worship song or re-reading a favorite verse from what I read that morning. It’s amazing how 2 or 3 check-points in a day keep my eyes fixed on Him. It is also important for me to pray about things as they are happening. Just having an attitude of prayer about all the menial tasks in my day reminds me that life is ultimately about sitting and listening to Jesus as He directs my day.

USING MY SCHEDULE TO MY ADVANTAGE
Currently, I am still nursing my 8 month old daughter. This means that there are times in my day when I am sitting in silence in her room nursing her. I will often use this time to my advantage to pray for others, sing worship songs to myself, or memorize scripture. It is built in down time in my day that I can use! Maybe for you it is a morning and evening commute you can use to stay focused on Jesus. Listen to worship music or a Christian podcast while you shower and get ready. Again find creative ways to use time that is already built in to your schedule.

PODCASTS: REVIVE OUR HEARTS
This is a personal favorite of mine. While doing a task that is somewhat mindless in my day (laundry, dishes, unpacking boxes, etc), I will listen to my favorite podcast, Revive Our Hearts. These are 28 minute episodes of a radio program run by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. Not only are they fun to listen to, but give me spiritual food for thought in my day. It is another tool for keeping my focus in the right place. There are many great podcasts out there and radio programs that could serve this function, and they are all free!

WRITING MY TO DO LISTS IN MY JOURNAL
I have started doing this in the last few months. Instead of using a separate piece of paper for my lists, I will write them in my prayer journal. This way, I can have an attitude of prayer when trying to decide how to spend my day. I can also write out everything I think needs to get done or that I want to do, and then ask God what He thinks is and isn’t important. I admit, I don’t hear a voice from heaven saying do this and don’t do that. But doing this has definitely given me more sensitivity to God’s Spirit inside me to be more discerning about how I should spend my day. It also helps me to hold my list more loosely knowing that God might have other plans for me that day.

I would love to hear what you do to keep Jesus your focus throughout the day. Feel free to add your comment to this post and let me and everyone else know. Here’s to keeping Jesus our focus today! Nothing else is more important!

Unexpected Rope

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“O to grace how great a debtor
daily I’m constrained to be!
Let thy goodness, like a fetter,
bind my wandering heart to thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
prone to leave the God I love;
here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
seal it for thy courts above.”


This is the 3rd verse of one of my favorite hymns, “Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing.” I have been pondering these words since we sang them in church this morning. I think I am particularly fond of this verse because I am so aware of my tendency to wander away from God. It seems so often that I find myself putting off my time with Him or avoiding and ignoring His presence because I just don’t want to meet with Him at that particular moment. Why I do this, I will never understand. It is the delight of my soul to be in God’s presence, yet I still wander away. I guess it is proof of the selfish nature still within me that just wants to do things my way.


Because of this tendency I have to wander away from my God, I often pray one line from this verse: “Bind my wandering heart to thee,” begging God to do whatever it takes to keep me close to Him. I’m not exactly sure what I expected God would use to “bind my heart” to Him. I guess I thought He would just cause me to desire Him more and desire other things less. You know, something wonderfully easy, simple and painless like that. But just yesterday, I became aware of the unexpected “rope” He has been using to bind my heart to Himself:


My Weaknesses


There are a few particular areas of my life that I feel completely out of my element. One of those areas is conflict. I DREAD conflict. Any and all of it. Even the slightest hint of it makes me anxious. I will usually do anything to avoid it and keep the peace. Tied to this fear of conflict comes a desire to please people rather than please God. In an avoidance of conflict, I have often held my tongue concerning the things of God or disobeyed God because I knew what He wanted me to do wouldn’t be very well received.


Even though I have seen growth and progress in these areas by the grace of God, I still feel just as helpless when faced with conflict or confrontation. The simplest conversation with only a small potential for conflict will still send me to my knees in prayer. As I approached one of these conversations yesterday, I realized how this area of weakness in my life keeps me running back to God. Just like a rope tethering my heart to Him.


“Bind my wandering heart to thee…” God has bound my heart to Himself. And He has used the rope of my weaknesses to do it. How I will always be grateful for anything that causes me cling to God! We always think it would be better to be free from all our weaknesses and areas of struggle. But then we wouldn’t need God anymore. Anything that causes us to be desperate for God is a blessing!


Many times, trials are just as strong of a “rope” to bind my heart to God. This past season of multiple miscarriages brought such a deep intimacy in my walk with God. The pain I was going through caused me to spend hours and hours each day in prayer and in the Word searching for answers. And I wouldn’t trade that time for anything.


I’m not sure what your weaknesses or trails may be currently, but if they propel you into God’s presence in desperation, then rejoice! He is using them to keep you close to Himself. And to be in God’s presence is the greatest gift!


“Concerning this I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me. And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness ” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.”
2 Corinthians 12:8-10

Preparing for Lively

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I sit here writing on the verge of a drastic life-change. Within a couple weeks, days, or possibly hours, we will have a new addition to our family: our daughter, Lively. It is an interesting and exciting thing to not know the day or hour when such a huge life transition will happen! And it has sent me into super nesting mode: cleaning, doing laundry, washing dishes, and overall trying to get our house in order for when we return from the hospital with a tiny baby girl.


Ironically, all these preparations have distracted me from the most important thing as I prepare to be a mother: my relationship with my God. It shouldn’t surprise me how easily and quickly I forsake my intimacy with God to accomplish my to-do list. This has always been a constant battle. I often put my to-do’s as a priority over time with God. It is something I have had to confess and repent of on many occasions. And this is exactly what I spent my morning doing 2 days ago.


Not only had I been idolizing my to-do list and elevating it above God, I had been avoiding God all together because I was sure He wouldn’t let me continue to whittle down my list. (It’s amazing how quickly I will avoid true interaction with God when I don’t think He’s going to let me do what I want to do.) This resulted in a stark emptiness in my soul that finally drove me to prayer and true interaction with God to deal with the problem. And of course in His grace and mercy, I feel like we pick back up where we left off.


I am so foolish sometimes. Of all the preparations that are needed for this major life transition, the greatest is for my soul to be healthy, alive, and rich in relationship with God. This is my greatest need every day, but ESPECIALLY as I approach this new role in life. As soon as I begin to make “legitimate” excuses for why other things are more important than my relationship with God, that list of “legitimate” excuses will continually lengthen. It is a slippery slope and will be never ending. My priority must always and forever stay the same: to cultivate and enjoy a living and active relationship with my Creator and Savior. This is what I was made for, and I can do nothing of eternal and lasting value without being connected to Him.


So as I sit here watching my belly move around as my daughter kicks her feet, I contemplate the incredible importance of my relationship with God. He is my constant, my priority, my all in all, the reason that I live. Again, I pray that I will never forget this and never let anything come between me and Him. May I always be a woman whose heart belongs fully to God.


What is keeping you from Him today? And is it really so important that it would steal you away from the one thing that matters most? For Jesus Himself said, “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 14:26) Not even our own children (as I am learning myself) are to come before devotion to Jesus. Let us be whole-heartedly devoted to Him above all other things.

Day 10 – It’s all about HIM

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It’s 8:30am this morning as I watch the light begin to slowly spill in through our living room windows. Laundry is going, coffee is brewed, the air outside is cool, and my husband is home. I couldn’t ask for a more peaceful morning. There is a different kind of peace in my heart when my husband is home. So here I am, sitting in the quietness of our house this morning, reflecting on these past 10 days.


This has been an incredible journey for me. Honestly, I have been surprised at the sin God has revealed in my heart as I didn’t think there would be 10 days worth of it. (I know how prideful that sounds, but I often have a better view of myself than I should.) The tendency I found in myself as these days came to a close was thinking about how much “better” of a Christian I would be afterwards. Now that all this junk is out of my heart, I can really walk with God well!


If I have begun to think repentance is about self-improvement, I have missed it. It’s not even about just getting rid of sin; repentance is about returning to God. The sin keeps us from Him, thus it is necessary to remove, but not just to that end. Just removing sin is not enough. It is a turning away from that sin, and turning toward God.

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Day 9 – Comparisons

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I had the privilege of enjoying the company of some dear friends, last night. Ashley and Bethany are the wives of two of Jimmy’s band members, so it’s even more enjoyable to know we are all in the same boat when they are gone. Last night was full of talking, making dinner, changing diapers, feeding children, and simply being together. Not to mention rejoicing that the guys will return today! I am so grateful to have other wives to share this journey with now! I was the only one for Jimmy’s first 3 years of doing ministry. This is one of the few pictures I have of the 3 of us, and we are all pregnant in this picture! Ashley (in the middle) was VERY pregnant at the time and now has a beautiful little boy and Bethany (on the right) is due just 7 weeks after I am in late February with their 2nd child. Thanks to Bethany’s first child, Bella, Lively now has a ton of cute girl clothes for her arrival in January. (By the way, you can follow both these lovely ladies on twitter, Asamperi and BethyNoel, or follow Bethany’s blog here.)


On another note, Jimmy and I had a great conversation yesterday. He was sharing with me his tendency to compare his ministry to other artists and how God has sent him encouragement through John 21. It was later that day, when I began to sit down with God to pray, that I realized I struggle with the same thing. And honestly, I have probably dealt with this problem of comparisons on and off for most of my walk with God. Sometimes it is comparing myself to another girl’s looks or clothing, and other times to someone else’s spiritual state of being. This line of thinking breeds insecurity and creates competitiveness in my heart as I try to “keep up” with those around me.

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Day 8 – Excuses

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Let me introduce you to our dog, Bailey. She is a pure bred German Shepherd and we absolutely love her to death. She is pictured here doing her signature head-tilt when she is talked to. Being the guard dog that she is, tonight Bailey freaked out at something in the backyard and barked for 20 minutes straight at the back fence. If I hadn’t already heard some peculiar sounds, I probably wouldn’t have thought much of it. But being home by myself and having had intruders in my backyard before, I was a little freaked out. Thankfully it was nothing and our dear friends Lindsay and Landon came over and Landon walked the perimeter of the house to check it out. What a great community of people we do life with here in Katy, TX.


Bailey is a great guard dog. She is always aware of her surroundings and is on her feet in no time when she senses danger. Nothing escapes her notice. I could really take a lesson from her when it comes to keeping danger out. In my case, the dangerous thing is sin and it has the power to destroy my life. But instead of standing guard, I often let sin into my life without question.

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