Category Archives: being Mrs. Needham

Closet Pharisee

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“Fill up, then, the measure of the guilt of your fathers.  You serpents, you brood of vipers, how will you escape the sentence of hell?” ~Jesus, Matthew 23: 32-33

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You’d think these words were said to a murderer, or a sexually perverted or promiscuous person, or a thief.  But no, Jesus was speaking to the religious leaders of the day.

Wait, did you catch that… Jesus’s harshest words of judgment are to the religious leaders of the day.  This should cause the ears of this religious church girl to perk up and listen.  Why such harsh words?  And what did these religious people do to merit such severe judgment?  And how do I make sure I am truly following Jesus and not the path of these anti-Jesus religious people?  These are questions I should have asked in my early years of following Jesus.

Even though I fell in love with Jesus early in my life, there grew an inward bent of my soul, slowly and stealthily, that was hardly noticeable.  I’m not sure exactly how it started.  Maybe it was the subconscious joy I found in the acclaim of people in being such a “good Christian.”  Maybe I couldn’t help but notice how much “better” I was than my peers.  Somewhere along the way, I began to delight in my good works more than the work of Jesus.  My heart started to reflect that of a Pharisee more than Jesus.

The Pharisee and the Tax Collector (Luke 18:9-14)

The Pharisee and the Tax Collector (Luke 18:9-14)

No matter how it started, a root of pride began to grow in my heart and for years it was watered with the praise of others and my own comparison to my peers.  I became really good at “being a Christian.” In the morning, I trusted my ability to have a good quiet time and memorize scripture.  In the evening, I found peace in my “maturity” to worship with hands raised.  I no longer needed Jesus as my savior.  My good deeds had become my functional savior.  I knew the right words to say, the right things to do to look like the best Jesus-follower out there.

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Clearing the Stage: People

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So if you weren’t aware, my awesome husband Jimmy is releasing a new record called “Clear The Stage” in 5 days! This record is unbelievable musically and lyrically and is all I have been listening to lately. The album title comes from a song on the record also called Clear the Stage that was written by a friend of ours, Ross King (Check out his music here. And please buy his album “And All the Decorations Too.” It is phenomenal lyrically.). This song has had a powerful effect on both of our lives and is one we regularly listen to as a way to check our hearts for idols. To give you an idea of the message of the song and this record, let me share a portion of the lyrics:

Anything I put before my God is an idol.
Anything I want with all my heart is an idol.
Anything I can’t stop thinking of is an idol.
Anything that I give all my love is an idol.
We must not worship something that’s not even worth it.
Clear the stage and make some space for the one who deserves it.

In anticipation of this record, Jimmy and I will be doing some “stage-clearing” in our own lives and will be blogging about it for the next five days until the record releases. We invite you to join us in this with hopes that we can give God the rightful place in our lives: center stage.

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A Day in the Life…

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Today was a perfect example of how being married to Jimmy makes my life weird.

We showed up at Panera bread this afternoon to meet with a pastor in our area for the very first time. We had just sat down when a stranger walked up and asked, “Excuse me, but are you Jimmy Needham?” After Jimmy signed a sheet of notebook paper for her, we exchanged a few cordial introductions then returned to our conversation. I am very grateful for that girl today and her support of Jimmy and his music but again, these are the things just make our life… weird.

Most of you reading this are probably already familiar with my husband and his music. For those of you who have no idea who he is and wonder why you should, I am glad you are here! Honestly, he is just a normal guy like any other. But to most people he is Jimmy Needham. He is a Christian singer/songwriter and recording artist with Inpop records. He is played on radio stations across the country and in many other countries as well!

Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely adore my husband and I am thrilled to be married to him and absolutely love supporting him in his calling as a singer/songwriter/recording artist. But the truth is, that because of what he does, our life is different. 

Jimmy’s growing fame was originally a source of great insecurity and frustration for me. When we got married, all our friends and family knew me for me: my personality, my strengths and weakness, my love for Jesus. But when we were on the road, people only knew me for one thing: I was married to Jimmy.

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Norwegian Lessons

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Lively in Sweden!

1:30am here in Norway, and Jimmy is about to take the stage for the 3rd time today! You’d think that’d be way to late to start a concert, but since it doesn’t get dark till around 11pm, it’s easier to stay up that long. I actually don’t know if these people actually sleep at night! I’m definitely loving the long days, but 9pm comes so quickly when the sun is up! It’s amazing how much I count on the sunset to let me know what time it is.


I mentioned in my last blog that I have been hoping God would speak to me while we’re here, and so far He’s come through! Though the lessons I’m learning since arriving in Scandinavia have been good, they’ve also been hard. It all started with “an honest moment” I had with God in Sweden a couple days ago. Though I’m generally pretty frank with Him, I tend to keep silent when my frustration is aimed at how He is running things because I know how limited my view is. But every now and then, I just have to let Him know my grievances. Let me share this moment of honesty with you.

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Greetings from Sweden!

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Greetings from Sweden!


Lively and I are traveling with Jimmy and the band this week on a tour of Scandinavia! We will be visiting the beautiful countries of Sweden, Norway, and Denmark and enjoying the cool weather and many hours of sunlight! Being here reminds me of when Jimmy was in Denmark last September. It was during his 10 day trip to Denmark that I decided to do 10 days of prayer and repentance. What a joyful and sweet time that was for me! You can read about what God spoke to me here on my blog in the September archives. This week, I am hoping and praying God speaks to me just as clearly!

Honestly today, I am just happy to not be on a plane! I feel like every mom who travels overseas with an infant should be given an award! A 3-hour flight followed by a 9-hour flight is no small feat. Especially when you have passengers staring at you every time your baby cries. Then we arrived in a country where it is 7 hours ahead of the time zone Lively has known all her short life and where the sun doesn’t set till 10pm and rises around 3am. Let’s just say yesterday was just a tad exhausting.

Now that both my daughter and I have had a good night’s sleep, things are going much better. =) Plus, it is always a joy to be around Jimmy’s band. These guys are like brothers to me and are such incredible men of God. They have embraced Lively like their own niece and gladly entertain her and hold her as I need help.

So now that we have settled in here in beautiful Sweden, I’d like to share with you some of the things I’ve learned in my day and a half of being here:


1. Don’t assume every carton next to the cereal is milk. Today I poured what appeared to be something like sour cream on my cereal.
2. There are a lot of very tall and very blonde people in Sweden.
3. You don’t need air conditioning here because even in the summer it is cool.
4. The Swedish have really good coffee!
5. Needing sunglasses outside at 9pm is a very strange feeling.


That’s all for now! I’ll be posting pictures later this week and more updates from Norway. Goodbye for now!

On the road again…

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View from the stage

It’s 7:30am on a Sunday morning and I have already left Massachusetts, driven into Connecticut, flown into Washington DC, and am now on a flight to Houston. You know you’re on the road with the band when you have already been in 3 states before 8am. Last night was the first of many concerts Jimmy will be doing with Acquire the Fire, a conference whose purpose is to ignite a movement of students who are passionate about Jesus. With multiple bands, speakers, drama teams, hundreds of staff and volunteers and thousands of students, it was quite an event! I am grateful that I was able to join the guys for this concert in Amherst, MA.


A lot of you know that I used to travel with Jimmy all the time. Our first 2 1/2 years of marriage I was Jimmy’s road manager, merchandise manager, violinist, and for a time, his general manager. I loved this time we had to travel together and will never forget the great memories we have from those early years. But when the opportunity arose for me to take a full time position in our church’s high school ministry, I couldn’t pass it up. Now, joining my husband on his worldwide travels is a much more infrequent occurrence.

Blake, Tim, Jimmy, Josh, Chasen

 

One of my favorite things about being on the road is seeing Jimmy’s ministry and calling in action. I love being able to pray for him during his set and hear the excellence of his music in action. He is passionate about the Gospel and it is evident in every song and every word. Another joy of traveling is just being around the guys again. Through years of traveling together in vans, buses, and planes, Jimmy’s band have become like brothers to me. All of them are such godly men of character and integrity and are an absolute joy to be around. Though you probably wouldn’t believe me if I told you how ridiculously goofy they are when they get together. It always keeps me laughing! (By the way, you can follow Jimmy’s band on twitter by clicking on their names: Tim, Josh, Chase, Blake. I think they’ll keep you laughing too.)



As I was preparing to leave for this weekend, I began thinking about what it means to be a help to my husband on the road. In the past, running merchandise and road managing was the way that I helped. Now that I don’t have any of those same responsibilities, I tend to feel helpless and out of place when I’m on the road with him. In past shows, I have been a distracting and attention-demanding wife due to my lack of purpose. Not wanting to carry on that inappropriate habit, I began thinking through my role as Jimmy’s wife a few days before leaving with the purpose to be a bit more proactive in my approach to this weekend.

During the concert

 


When I think about what it means to be a wife, the word ezer comes to my mind. This is the Hebrew word used of Eve in Genesis 2 when she is described as Adam’s helper, or help-meet. A very dynamic and telling word, ezer is used only twice of woman and is most commonly used of describe God. “I life my eyes to the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord the Maker of Heaven and earth.”(Psalm 121:1-2) “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” (Psalm 46:1) Both of these verses use ezer in the Hebrew. As I have studied every other place in the Old Testament where this word is used, amazing new meaning arises for what it means to be a helper to your husband. The use of this word in the scriptures brings to life the sense of protection, strengthening, and life-giving encouragement it was meant to convey. To be a help to your husband is so much more than simply housework. It is the vital role of strengthening and enabling him to do what God has called him to do while becoming a place of encouragement and protection for him when that calling gets rough. It is a great honor and privilege to play such a critical and indispensible role.


As I contemplated these things in preparation for this trip, I began to ask myself: how can I be this kind of help to my husband when I have no actual role to play on the road? I started by eliminating what I should not do. I am not helping when I am demanding his attention throughout the course of the day. (Yes, I tend to think Jimmy should always be paying attention to me when I’m with him. I mean, I am his wife right?) Though they might not look like anyone else’s, Jimmy’s workdays consist of sound-checks, twitter postings, band meetings, prayer time, concerts, autograph signings, and meet-and-greets. And when I become a distraction to these things, I cease being helpful. So this trip, I brought a few things to work on to alleviate my tendency to need to be the center of attention.


A second way I can practically be an ezer is by simply being a servant to Jimmy and his band. It may be getting extra waters, helping sell merchandise, filming the show, or simply holding open doors.


Lastly, being a help to my husband is sometimes simply being available to him. Whether he needs encouragement, good company to eat dinner with, someone to pray with or bounce ideas off of, or just a listening ear, I long to be for him a place of refuge and comfort.


All in all, I felt like this trip was a successful one in those respects. I effectively stayed out of the way to let the guys do their thing, while serving and providing help to them as needed. I love the privilege I have in being an ezer to my husband! I believe this is my highest calling and most important ministry, second only to growing my relationship with God. I was created to play a vital role in my husband’s ministry and calling and there is such joy in doing just that.



More thoughts on this weekend coming soon…

Day 9 – Comparisons

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I had the privilege of enjoying the company of some dear friends, last night. Ashley and Bethany are the wives of two of Jimmy’s band members, so it’s even more enjoyable to know we are all in the same boat when they are gone. Last night was full of talking, making dinner, changing diapers, feeding children, and simply being together. Not to mention rejoicing that the guys will return today! I am so grateful to have other wives to share this journey with now! I was the only one for Jimmy’s first 3 years of doing ministry. This is one of the few pictures I have of the 3 of us, and we are all pregnant in this picture! Ashley (in the middle) was VERY pregnant at the time and now has a beautiful little boy and Bethany (on the right) is due just 7 weeks after I am in late February with their 2nd child. Thanks to Bethany’s first child, Bella, Lively now has a ton of cute girl clothes for her arrival in January. (By the way, you can follow both these lovely ladies on twitter, Asamperi and BethyNoel, or follow Bethany’s blog here.)


On another note, Jimmy and I had a great conversation yesterday. He was sharing with me his tendency to compare his ministry to other artists and how God has sent him encouragement through John 21. It was later that day, when I began to sit down with God to pray, that I realized I struggle with the same thing. And honestly, I have probably dealt with this problem of comparisons on and off for most of my walk with God. Sometimes it is comparing myself to another girl’s looks or clothing, and other times to someone else’s spiritual state of being. This line of thinking breeds insecurity and creates competitiveness in my heart as I try to “keep up” with those around me.

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Day 7 – Giving Up Control

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It’s been exactly one week since Jimmy left and I am just astounded at the wonderful things the Lord has been teaching me! I am full of gratitude today as I consider the great work He is doing in my heart. I am only sad it has taken me so long to willingly open up my heart to His gentle correction.


I paused in the middle of my prayer time today to sit back and listen to the instrumental song playing in the background: the old hymn “Trust and Obey.” Jimmy and I both greatly enjoy hymns because of their great theological lyrical content and I couldn’t help but just meditate on the words as the melody played on.

But we never can prove the delights of His love
Until all on the altar we lay;
For the favor He shows, for the joy He bestows,
Are for them who will trust and obey.

Then in fellowship sweet we will sit at His feet,
Or we’ll walk by His side in the way;
What He says we will do, where He sends we will go;
Never fear, only trust and obey.

Trust and obey, for there’s no other way
To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.



This week has been an act of laying it all on the alter and truly seeking to have a heart that is trusting and obedient to the Lord in every aspect of my life. It was as I meditated on this hymn that I felt God bring to my attention an area in my life that has not come fully under the trust and obedience of Him: submitting to authorities. As a believer, and specifically as a woman, the call of submission is of upmost importance. 1 Peter 2:13 calls me to “submit myself for the Lord’s sake to every human institution” while Ephesians 5:21 says that a product of being filled with the Spirit is “submitting to other believers in reverence for Christ.” It is a call placed on me as a believer and follower of Christ: to have a heart that is submissive.

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Day 6 – My Reputation

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Jimmy and the band in Denmark

Tonight’s prayer time left me speechless. I am still taking it in. How wonderfully refreshing it was and deeply convicting to my soul. Wow. But before I jump into that, I wanted to give you a brief update on Jimmy and the guys in Denmark.


I thought you might enjoy a picture of Jimmy and the band in Denmark. I have learned so much about this country since Jimmy’s been there that I didn’t know. From what he describes and from the few pictures I’ve seen, it seems surprisingly beautiful! I’ve also learned that Denmark has a viking museum that the guys are visiting tomorrow.  I can just envision how much fun they are going to have there.  Probably more fun than they should have, knowing the guys.  =)  Jimmy has also tried to teach me a few Danish words and phrases, none of which I can recall at all.


On a much more exciting note, he’s been able to share the Gospel a few times at some high schools! Although in name they are Christian schools, he said there are many unbelievers there. I am so grateful for my husband’s great concern with the furthering of the Gospel and can’t wait to see the fruit of this trip!


I can’t believe I am over halfway done with my days of prayer. (If you haven’t been following along, check out my first post of this series here.) It has gone by so quickly. One thing I want be sure of is that I don’t forget to continue growing in the 5 areas God has already pointed out. So I spent some time today reviewing and praying for continued growth in those areas. By God’s grace, I will strive to remember that life isn’t about me, I am to walk in faith not fear, not serving the idol of productivity, giving grace quickly in light of the grace I’ve received, and be content and grateful for everything.


Tonight, God dealt with my obsession with my reputation. I just care a whole lot about what others think about me. It was during my prayer time tonight that God brought to my attention the number of times I have checked the stats on this blog site today. How many people have commented? How many views? Why are the numbers going down? Goodness, why do I care so much? As soon as I become more concerned with the stats on this blog rather than with what God is doing through it, I have a problem.

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